How's it going, friend?
It got a little dark and dreary on my end for a minute there, but that's ok. Life gets that way sometimes, and we're allowed to give in to it. People often forget that darkness is just as important as the light. We cant always be living in the light, it's just not realistic. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in love and light, but what I don't believe in is using that as a shield to hide from the darker aspects of life. There is SO much to learn from the harder times.
The way I see it, when we are put into an uncomfortable situation, we have two options:
Settle in, feel the raw emotions, observe, and get curious as to why you made it here. What actions did I take to get me here? Even if you 100% feel that you made it there because of another's doing... I can promise that you had a part in it as well. And that's ok. If you give yourself the chance to step back and observe yourself without judgement, then you can lovingly see where you can show up a little better.
Otherwise, the second option is to simply acknowledge that discomfort is present, but mask it with the "time heals all" and "everything happens for a reason" bandaids that don't really do anything except sweep the dirt back under the rug until the next time it get's kicked up again. And it will come up again, and again, and again, until you have the courage to look it in the face and learn from it. Now, I do believe that time heals all and what is meant to be will always be, but sometimes we can turn these beliefs into an emotional crutch that only masks the issue and doesn't get to the root.
Personally, I like the first option. There's a quote from poet Nayyirah Waheed: "running away from an emotion. is a sure way to carry it with you."
PREACH, NAYYIRAH!
For real though, she hits the nail on the head with this one. Running away in whatever way, shape, or form it comes for you, will only bring temporary relief. If you haven't learned yet, life likes to put you in similar situations over and over again because it's giving you opportunities to learn and grow and become a better human! Seems a little crazy to just keep going around and around in the same painful, unsatisfying circle, no?
Self-love isnt always fluffy and light. Sometime's it requires acknowledgement on our end of where we are dropping the ball, and what conscious actions we can take to do better. It's hard, dirty work, but, in my experience, dirty work is always the most rewarding. That's how I dug myself out of the darkness: By staring it in the face, sitting with it, holding space for it, learning from it, accepting it; then, inviting the light in to regain my balance by bowing in gratitude for the dark and all its lessons rather than sulking in its pain. It wasn't pretty, nor was it easy, but damn was it worth it.
It's all a conscious choice. We give in and drown, or we give in and learn. Well my friends, I hope we all choose the latter.
So, again, I'll ask, how's it going? Be real with your response. No more hiding from the dark if you're going through it. Embrace it, befriend it. Soon you'll see and you'll feel lighter, guaranteed.
To be honest, this email was not supposed to be this long- I have a couple other things I wanted to share with you (i'll be sending a separate email shortly), but I started to write and ended up word vomiting all over you. So, thank you for being here, for holding space for me, for allowing me to vomit my words all over your inbox. I appreciate you.
With love,
Janelle